Ever have a plan that didn't go right? You look to your back up plan but, WAIT! You pompous piece of shit, you never made one because you thought the first one would take you where you wanted to go. So, that first plan gets thrown overboard, because let's face it, you didn't want to take that risk, you were too comfortable where you were. You throw your unfinished backup plan over board because you think there's not a chance in Hell it could ever help you in any way. Just then you realize you're standing in a very small rowboat with out any oars, stuck in the middle of the fucking ocean hoping that the tide will take you to shore. But not just any shore will do, oh no, you're hoping that it will take you into the promise land, the new world, a place that no one has ever set foot on before. The only problem, you have no earthly idea which way to go or what the promise land even looks like.
That, just described my very being. My problem is, I paddle the boat as hard as I can with my two hands in one direction for so long that when I don't see the shore on the horizon I give up and go in a different direction. I've been doing it for years now, and whenever I decide to actually commit to a direction an obstacle appears that keeps me from paddling any farther. Now, I don't know if I have attention deficit disorder or if I just haven't found my way but, I do know that the time for me to choose a heading and stay the course until I've found land is getting close, very close.